Got in at 5am, never a great flight. Last two nights I've had 5 hours of sleep each, and not quality sleep at that. Glad the fat 40+ guy next to me blasted his techno so loud I could hear it on an airplane while wearing earplugs even though he just had earbuds.
Drove to the Sofitel for a shower and to drop off bags, then went hiking in the mountains at the edge of town near the Metropolitan Club.. Here was the part of Bogota Tori wouldn't like... perros bravos. I saw another guy jogging and another guy walking his dog who told me about what lay ahead (it's a fine area if you travel in groups, know the dog hangouts and are careful). What I got out of our discussion was peligro (danger), perros bravos (wild/stray dogs), and trail directions to avoid them and the lay of the land up ahead. We parted ways and as I was rounding the a turn a few km up in the gravel road where the trails I wanted branched off, I saw three mongrels. I kinda stopped and hoped they hadn't taken notice of me yet. That of course wasn't the case or this wouldn't be the first story of the day.
Two big heavy boxer mutt things and a german shepard that looked small in comparison sprint at me and are barking. And not the kind of wagging and barking like the other guys dog did when he ran up to sniff my hand. The trail I wanted was just to the left of where I was. Somehow I got the feeling my "how to train your dragon" inspiration from the movie on the plane wasn't going to help here. The next two quick realizations were there's no way I'd outrun them, and they probably aren't going to just rush up for a sniff. So all of a sudden my Saturday morning shaped up to a "only one side is gonna win this" and "there is only one acceptable outcome to which side that is unless I want to be a doggie breakfast". Frick.
I had passed a really good stick on the ground like 20ft behind me, so I started walking backwards and facing them, but quickly realized there wasn't gonna be time for that given their closing rate. I turned and bolted for it, and any attack animal of course loves being the chaser. Side note here, after sleeping on a plane for a few hours, this kicks starts the system pretty well, but I'm actually surprised how un-freaked out I was considering the general seriousness here and that I was in the mountain jungle by myself with no help. There were actually two sticks, and I simultaneously grabbed both. Left hand grabbed a little two footer and right went for the three footer. Both were solid and the diameter of a twoonie. The lead dog was right behind me as I was bent down and back to it, so as soon as my hands grabbed them off the ground I did the biggest left back hand tennis swing motion I could and whacked that f-ker right across the face with solid contact, and the right followed through with overhand axe kind of chops down on the head and nose - five strikes as fast as I could before its attack was turning to retreat ASAP. I just wanted to pummel it so there weren't questions of trying for more, I've never made a solid of contact with anything alive and a stick before. As the first one turned and started running I gave it all I could to whip it across the hips - I hope it's stinging hours later. This all probably took 5 seconds max. The other two were watching close for a lunge opportunity in smart group strategy, and once the second was looking just bolted straight at it and took swings at it with the stick instead of letting it be the agressor. They white flagged it and ran after two strikes, the third one didn't want any of that. I threw two good size rocks at them as they ran away.
Funny enough, I didn't feel rushed, shaky or all heart ramped up after. I did briefly think of going back, but that was the bad part before I was off the road, the trails are so steep that lazy mongrels wouldn't even want to climb up there. I think I'm overtired from a few days of 20hr/day of action. I watched them run away, then walked up the steep trail with my new sticks, which was awesome cause the trail was steep enough that they were useful. No wonder Tomas carries a .38 caliber snub nosed revolver when hiking.
I climbed up above the city to a lookout and the sun creeping up the mountains.
After that it was back down to a French breakfast place for eggs, pig skin (like bacon but inches thick) and little breads, with tangerine juice and Juan Valdez's best rocket fuel.
Mauricio then drove me out to the Salt Cathedral in Zipaquira. Instead of waiting an hour for the next english and spanish tour, I got an ipod with recorded tour and tacked onto a spanish group, but they were too slow and listening to both wasn't helpful, so I just went into the tunnels on my own.
They're massive and awesome. The excavation halls are like five stories high and a hundred meters long. Cool, blue, sculpted, massive, and with piped church music in parts where it was amplified and you couldn't tell the direction of the source due to the acoustic chambers and bouncing. I'm so glad we went.
Looking back to entrance tunnel plus a ventilation shaft above.
Salt. Salt mine. Apparently 500 years supply left. Used to trade at par by weight for emeralds.
Brine water/holy water at a table.
A dome polished smooth, about 30' tall room plus about similar diameter.
50' tall cross from far away in a massive cathedral hall.
26' diameter pillars.
The 50' cross up close.
Black mirror pool only a few inches thick was a perfect mirror, but the flash ruined it.
Miner statue.
On the way back we stopped in Chia as a mall had signs that it had the Bogota classic car museum's collection on display. From the 20's to the 80's, it had a broad range of significant makes, models and use categories on display. Nice find!
The real reason we stopped in Chia was for Andres Carne de Res, Chia. We went to the one in Bogota last time and had a blast, yet everyone said the massive original in Chia was the real gem. We did a late lunch during Cameroon vs. Denmark. The decor is off the hook, it's 25 years of stuff layered in. The grills are the size of my garage. The place is huge but all feels cosy and quaint, I bet it can seat over 500 people. Music is everything. People painted like the Danes, including one who had the front end of a bicycle with wheel and bell as his rolling prop. The Cameroon section was everything from a Colombian girl in a form fitted tiger suit (10 out of 10 on creativity, execution and hotness) to guys in green dresses that looked "African styled" I guess. There's roving bands, a DJ doing diverse music, a table of twenty girls doing like a 14 year old birthday party, football madness, and this crazy decor, all kept humming along by a massive staff. It's sensory overload of awesomeness. Don't come to Bogota without hitting at least one of, but preferably the Chia Andres. Seriously, google it and check out the commentary... it's not a restaurante; it's an experience!
Got back to the Sofitel to find them filming what appears to be some drama break up scenes for what I'd guess is a Colombian soap opera. It's so annoying having Colombian actresses parading about in form fitting dresses. I don't think Claudia Vieira was actually here, but why ruin it? Maybe it was her. Even if it was someone less famous, why burst the bubble?
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