Wednesday 4 November 2009

American Glory

I've found myself south of the 49th parallel for a brief period on business, looking at a startup who's planning to utilize a relatively new technology.  But that's tomorrow...

After the typical reminder that taxi drivers world 'round have much in common, I entered the lobby of a decent business class hotel which worked to calm me via mood lighting, aromatherapy, and natural sounds.

The check in attendant gave me the lowdown on restaurants nearby after I explain I'm tired and just need a half decent and quick meal - mexican and steakhouse sounded plausible.  As I walked down the sidewalk towards the mexican restaurant, I passed the steakhouse, which was represented as "unbelievable, if you're not price sensitive".  My colleague comes in later so there's no debate needed.

Heck, I'm in Chicago, land of the chop house, in the nation of excess (despite temporary?? economic curtailment), in the President's town too.  American steak house it is!

The place is packed, no sign of economic depravity here.  Professional waiters, mustache and white coat laden are full speed all over the place.  I settle in with a glass of wine and wait to be shown the selections.

The meat tray Antonio brings by must be 20lbs.  He starts by highlighting the "Chicago" cut, which is the size of a loaf of bread, if only half as tall.  I'm totally dumbfounded. 

"Antonio, William Perry couldn't even finish that, and I'm certainly not in the NFL" I stammer.

Without missing a beat "Sir, you must be from out of town."

"Indeed I am."

With a broadening smile "I knew, and I'll forgive you only once.  The Fridge can finish any steak The Fridge wants to finish, and we know that here in Chicago.  You must be careful what you say."

Ok, so this guy is good, pro waiter and funny.  Before he get's to the "American Glory" special, which would feed a family for a week, I ask for the smallest recommendation, and settle on a 10oz filet mignon, plus half order of mixed veggies.  I half regret skipping the Glory, but know I'd be in over my head.  The 50 year old couple next to me is still laughing about the Fridge.

The half order of mixed veggies is a cornucopia fit for a family.  The filet is the best piece of meat I've had in years.  All I can think of is The Matrix and how it's "juicy, and delicious".  I'm surrounded by business meetings, family dinners and dates.  They're all going home with an extra percent of bodyfat, and I can't spot a crisp jaw line anywhere.  Desserts coming out are pieces of cake probably 8" tall.  They should have defibrilators at every table.  It's pure entertainment to just take in the spectacle.

Chicago.  Steak house.  American Glory.

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