I think I might have come across a workable solution, thanks to the initiave of Tori... bike touring. Before you dismiss the idea, let me explain why I think 24/7 cycling time with the significant other can work, despite the difference in cycling aptitude/ability.
Who likes seeing beautiful country side on vacation? Who likes freedom, wine country, bed and breakfasts, restaurants, and exploring? Who likes losing weight on a vactation, coming back with firmer legs and buns, less around the waist, yet eating practically anything in sight? Who likes spending all day together, but without having the energy necessary to let little fights happen? Well, hopefully the better half of a racer couple.
How do you pull this off when you're different speeds? It's easy - weight is the great equalizer. Stick a snazzy bike for your seniorita under the tree, and remember that what a racer wants and what might inspire matrimonial bliss are two different things. Nothing I say here is meant to be sexist, so if you read it that way and disagree with me, point it out without making it into a sexism argument.
Racer chicks might chastize, but this isn't meant for racer chicks. Buy a bike with a triple. I think it's common that where a racer may see a giant hill as a wicked quad building workout or bragging rights pushing a 39x23, your other half will probably appreciate a 30x27. Take whatever ultra light tires they spec the bike with and put on some Specialized Armadillos or Continental Gatorskins. Yes, fixing flats will happen, but tourist riders won't give a rats ass about the speed tradeoff. Go for frame geometry upright enough to see the sights, and is comfy by design and material. Tourists won't care about "ultimate power transfer" or "cornering like it's on rails". They will care about road vibration. Now comes touring. Put on a handle bar rack and rear paniers. Don't weigh it down enough to mess up the handling. Spare no expense on comfort items - rain jacket, warm jersey, arm and leg warmers, booties, cap, etc. should all be no more than a 2 minute pit stop away, stuffed in all the paniers in mesh stuff sacks. Riding comfortably equals fun riding. Pack snacks, and lots of small bills for wherever you are so it's easy to buy fruit, drinks, whatever from roadside vendors or stores. Sure you might swear by caffienated hammer gel, but put in fruit, fruit bars, sharkies, chocolate, juice, fig bars, etc. into your companion's kit. Who cares what form the calories take going in - as long as you're riding aerobically, the body digests everything pretty well. Not everyone appreciates the taste and texture of race foods.
Now for your end of it. Buy a super stong frame, some inexpensive Surly or the like with Shimano 105. Why? You've just been promoted to porter, mechanic and soigneur. You're gonna take whatever extra weight it takes to balance out your cycling capabilities, even if it's all the gear you have, so no lightweight noodle frames needed. No science is really needed to balance out Watts/kg, trial and error works. Load yourself up and ride hard all day, you'll hopefully "get something out of riding slow" like big endurance and big leg strength. If done right, no matter how hard you hammer, you won't be able to drop your companion, but even if you do, it's no big deal. Get to the top of a hill first, pull out the camera, and take a picture when the better half gets there. Or maybe you'll be able to lose enough racer mindset that you won't even think about going hard... who really cares in the off season (ok, not likely). On top of that, if something breaks, play mechanic and fix it quick. Keep a pack of Sharkies or something in your pocket, and offer them up right away. Snacks take the mind off the situation and earns you points. Same with soigneur duty. Offer up some massage at night. Why? We've been doing long rides for years, but not everyone will be used to volumes of riding. It's surprisingly easy for even "non-riders" to enjoy a 4h day of touring, it just doesn't seem like a long time, but that's work if your legs aren't used to it. If you have a happy partner, more bike vacation time is in the future!
But what to do if your partner's interest/abilities are still much shorter than yours? One solution is bungee cord. Other is choose towns near each other enough to be in the "right range", 60km or whatever. Check into your new lodging, unload the gear, and your babe can shop, have coffee or hit the pool or spa. You can explore the town or nearby roads at your own speed for one extra hour to burn off some steam before dinner. Everyone needs their own time.
Depending on each other to get where you're going is teambuilding in a nutshell, which is why we all find each other in the first place. Solving problems is easy when you both inherently know what the goal is (get somewhere), and are mellow enough from exercise to not make mountains out of molehills with the day's issues.
Resorts in my mind are opposite, I couldn't believe after dune buggy driving in Mexico how many couples were fighting. There's no common goal other than sitting around, so in my world that sort of takes away any little daily achievements. On top of that you're idle, so it's easy to have pent up energy to expend on petty aruments... plus there's usually free/cheap alcohol all day every day. This isn't a recipe for sucess (in my books anyway), enough alchohol and enough time is a defacto recipe for fighting. Add in buffet service and you come home a few pounds heavier... sweet.
I guess the attraction is that resorts "easy" and "secure". There's very little unknown, you buy a plane ticket, get picked up at the airport, and that's it. Not knowing where you're going to eat or sleep cause anxiety. Remove anxiety and your mind is at rest supposedly... but wherever people live there's food and lodging. It's not a problem at all. Finding places to sleep is easy, and any time you walk in the front door of a hotel, they know you're looking for a place to sleep, regarless of language barrier. Same with food, unless you're picky, in which case you should probably just stay at home and get some counselling to help you out. Or if you have allergies, time to work on menu reading skills!
"Finding" food and lodging are satisfying little accomplishments each day, as is achieving a new location. Rhythmically breathing fresh air all day is something that is undeniably healthy: blood pressure drops, fitness develops, mind is cleared, and it's easier to burn more calories than you take in. In my mind that's the meaning of vacation, it's rejuvenation.
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